know your neighbour

The City of Happiness

Posted by chimeki on December 1, 2016

Dear Mr. Turnbull,

I am very happy to write to you and I am sure you too are happy there.

Ever since the Emperor has declared showing disgust, pain, remorse, sympathy and all such old human feelings a crime we all have become very happy.

Let me confess to you that initially I was quite unsure of this Royal Proclamation and I thought this wouldn’t work. But one day when my son got a good beating from the Spread Happiness Armed Force for showing disgust while standing in the long ATM queue, I realized that this one is a coup. I can’t tell you how happy I am today to see my initial inhibition proved wrong.

I learnt that your mother passed away last week. I am glad happy to hear that. And I am sure that she must have died happily. Your father must have been very happy man now and her happy demise would have added to his happiness. You too must have been very happy too to see your mother gone who, you told, loved you very much.

How is your son? Has he got a job? Here, my son is still hanging around happily without a job since the lockout. His wife, overcome with happiness, has filed for a divorce and left the house happily. I am much old now to tell my grandchildren how fortunate they are to live in this happy time where they don’t have to go to schools as I have no money to pay fees and buy them books.

'Instant Christmas happiness! ?1.'

Now I learn that the Emperor has ordered to prefix Happy with every citizen’s name and soon we will be issued new Aadhar Cards. So Mr Turnbull, are you ready to be called Mr Happy John Turnbull. I am sure you are. And I am so glad happy too that I will be called Happy Joe Smith. In our neighborhood people have already started adding Happy in their nameplates. There is nothing better than being happy all the time.

Oh God, I was about to forget telling you that I have bought a pair of smileys. My wife and I wear it all the time. First I thought, this plastic smile wouldn’t work but when the shopkeeper told me that even the ministers of our Emperor wear it all the time I decided to try them. You know what the shopkeeper even changed my 2000 rupee note which I was not able to use since my bank issued it last year. Now my wife and I put the smileys on our faces all the time. Only when we have to speak or eat we get them off but never for longer. Anyway we don’t have much to share these days. In our city this thing is a hit. On roads and on metros every second person is seen wearing it. Wearing it is good for the jaws too. The strain that comes from smiling all time is gone. I read in the newspaper the Happy Times that soon our government will be selling it through the PDS in subsidized rates. What an idea. I just want to forewarn you that don’t sleep or go in front of the mirror with it for you will think yourself an intruder.

At last we have seen happiness. I wish my parents were alive today to see this happy time. I am sure they would have died with this overdose of happiness.

Hail the Emperor,
Happily yours,
Happy Joe Smith
Happy Homes
Happy Street No. 2
The City of Happiness


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